I'm a cat.

I'm a lawyer.

This is my interactive resume website.

In 2015, I was discovered in the Tenderloin neighborhood of San Francisco and brought to the SF SPCA, where I waited over a year before I was taken in by the Cortland-Haines household. These days, they call me "Severoos", and they squish my paws, and it is the greatest of indignities. I am small, very soft, and a delight, and someday I will take the respect I deserve.

If you need to contact me for any reason, don't. But you can try reaching out to my assistant, Lily, at couldbelily[at]gmail.com. She's very simple though, and it's unlikely she'll respond.